Bad luck?<\/em> \u00a0I sat there just staring at the card for a few seconds, as if it would bestow upon me the logical explanation that I seemed to be missing.<\/p>\n My girlfriend must have sensed my bewilderment, and so she turned to give me her full attention. \u201cRick, how long have you lived in Italy now?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMore than two years…\u201d<\/p>\n She could only shake her head in disbelief, \u201cAnd you still don\u2019t get it, do you?\u201d<\/p>\n I guess didn\u2019t\u2026don\u2019t.\u00a0 This fuzzy gray line between religion and superstition<\/strong> is something that I can\u2019t quite work out in my head.\u00a0 But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how pervasive this attitude is throughout Italy.<\/p>\n Another friend of mine, who is openly agnostic, still crosses himself every time he walks by the front door of a church<\/strong>.\u00a0 From the rear view mirror of his car hangs a medallion of Saint Christopher, the patron saint of motorists, who allegedly protects him from his fellow Roman drivers.\u00a0 What\u2019s more, he feels compelled to grab \u201cthe family jewels\u201d every time somebody mentions a potentially unlucky outcome.<\/p>\n \u201cHey Franco, I hear they\u2019re laying-off workers at your company.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAho\u2019! Abbbellooo!\u201d\u00a0 To which he simultaneously grabs his crotch and the little cornicello<\/i> charm that he wears around his neck faster than you can blink an (evil) eye<\/strong>.<\/p>\n But he swears that he\u2019s not superstitious\u2014or religious.<\/p>\n Yes, the dreaded evil eye (malocchio<\/i>), the fear of every Italian.\u00a0 Like a bad rash that won\u2019t go away, it will follow you wherever you go.\u00a0 The source of this curse is said to be envy<\/strong>, directed at you\u2014either intentionally or unintentionally\u2014by a friend, co-worker, or archenemy.\u00a0 As far back as Dante they were acutely aware of its destructive power.<\/p>\n “My blood was so afire with envy that<\/em> (Purgatorio<\/i>, Canto XIV, lines 82\u201384)<\/p>\n The symptoms of a malocchio<\/i> curse can be moderate to severe<\/strong> including headache, fatigue, dizziness, a four-game losing streak for your soccer team, or the re-election of Silvio Berlusconi.\u00a0 So you can plainly see that this is nothing to scoff at.<\/p>\n My favorite part about this \u201cmalady\u201d is the alleged treatment for it.\u00a0 First you\u2019ll need a jar of Vaseline, a leather saddle, a 12-volt battery, and a set of jumper cables. (No, wait, that\u2019s the treatment for impotence\u2026sorry, Silvio.)<\/p>\n For the malocchio<\/i>, the cure involves a special ceremony performed by a mother or grandmother who has been properly indoctrinated into the ancient anti-malocchio ritual.<\/strong><\/p>\n In the presence of the afflicted person, she mixes some combination of water, olive oil, and bodily fluids<\/strong> in a shallow silver platter while reciting the appropriate appeal to Jesus, Mary, or whichever saint happens to be listening. And if you don\u2019t have one of these trained grandmothers in your village, the rites can be performed via Skype these days. Or so I\u2019ve been told.<\/p>\n This ability to remove the malocchio is considered an honored privilege.\u00a0 Not just any random nonna<\/i> from the south of Italy can execute it\u2014she must have been suitably ordained by one of her elders. What\u2019s more, this \u201cpower\u201d can only be passed to the next generation once a year, on Christmas Eve.\u00a0 And of course it goes without saying that the potential candidate MUST be a confirmed Catholic<\/strong>, otherwise these superstitious\u2014I mean, religious\u2014powers won\u2019t work.<\/p>\n Besides the malocchio, what other bad omens should one be wary of?<\/p>\n You cannot throw bread in the garbage<\/strong>. \u00a0And if you really, really<\/i> must, then you should kiss it first. \u00a0Bread is a symbol of Jesus, after all, and you\u00a0wouldn’t\u00a0throw Jesus out with the trash, would you? (It was a rhetorical question.)<\/p>\n You must diligently sweep out the corners of a new house<\/strong> to get rid of the evil spirits that had taken up residence with the previous owner. You\u2019ve got your own problems, right?\u00a0 Why would you want to inherit someone else\u2019s, too? But I really question this particular superstition. Nonne <\/i>are known to be obsessive about cleaning, and I think that this ritual was invented to justify an epidemic of hygiene neurosis among Sicilian grandmothers.<\/p>\n You should always cover up all the mirrors in your house after someone dies<\/strong>. Why? Who the hell knows\u2026<\/p>\n Dream interpretation opens up another dark avenue of superstition, and Italians are creative masters when it comes to inventing a semi-plausible fiction to explain your dreams. My advice is to never share your dreams with an Italian<\/strong>. They\u2019ll always come up with something sinister and disquieting about your unconscious mind, which inevitably becomes a self-fulfilling curse. Better to keep it to yourself.<\/p>\n BUT\u2026according to the Neapolitan smorfia<\/em>, if you dream of the number 29 (considered lucky), you simply must go play the lottery<\/strong> right away. \u00a0O cazz\u2019<\/i>!<\/p>\n If you want to sell your house, bury a statue of St. Joseph in the front yard<\/strong>.\u00a0 Upside down, of course.<\/p>\n For a newlywed couple, the two mothers should make the bed the first time (ha!) that the young spouses sleep together<\/strong>. Some coins should be thrown between the sheets to bring good fortune. And all birth control devices should be confiscated or at least tampered with. (This last part is not really superstition, it\u2019s just being sneaky and manipulative.)<\/p>\n Speaking of beds, never use three people to make a double bed<\/strong> because serious harm or even death will come to the youngest of the trio. Never put a hat on the bed of a sick person nor a hanger on the bed of a healthy person.\u00a0 Again, to do so would be to invite the grim reaper.<\/p>\n Furthermore, regarding Death, if an empty hearse passes in front of you, grab your testicles immediately<\/strong>.\u00a0 If you\u2019re a woman, the nearest pair will do\u2014just grab them as quickly as possible and apologize later.<\/p>\n What are some of the bizarre Italian superstitions that\u00a0you’ve\u00a0heard about?\u00a0 Please share!<\/p>\n Of course I don\u2019t personally believe in any of this nonsense. But while these things seem ridiculous to the Anglo-American way of thinking, I can assure you that they are widely held “beliefs” throughout Italy, even if some people are reluctant to admit it candidly.<\/p>\n And it\u2019s not just Sicilian grandmothers; it\u2019s doctors, businessmen, school teachers, and policemen. Young and old, from the North to the South.\u00a0 Every segment of society participates<\/strong>, whether they realize it or not.<\/p>\n So when you see a self-proclaimed \u201cnon-believer\u201d spontaneously crossing himself or grabbing his testicles, you\u2019ll know that he\u2019s not necessarily praying, nor does he have a chronic fungal condition in his nether regions. More likely, he\u2019s battling against something far more sinister<\/strong>.\u00a0 A curse, a jinx, or the dreaded malocchio<\/i>.<\/p>\n The history behind these beliefs is fascinating and I really enjoyed researching it for this article. During the course of my research, I even came across the actual top-secret prayer that is used in the ceremony to remove the malocchio<\/i>.\u00a0 It\u2019s in dialect, so I had to have it translated for me. I must say, it\u2019s interesting, if not a little creepy\u2014like something out of a Steven King novel. I am tempted to share it with you here on my blog, but of course that would be bad luck.\u00a0 So I\u2019d better not.\u00a0 Just in case. \u00a0You never know.<\/p>\n![\"Italian](\"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/cornicello2.jpg\" "\\"Cornicelli\\"")
Italian Superstitions: Il Malocchio<\/h2>\n
![\"Italian](\"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Evil-Eye-300x215.jpg\" "\\"Evil")
\nwhen I had seen a man becoming happy,<\/em>
\nthe lividness in me was plain to see.<\/em>”<\/p>\nOther curses to avoid<\/h2>\n
Oh ye of little faith\u2026<\/h2>\n