{"id":4138,"date":"2021-02-11T14:04:00","date_gmt":"2021-02-11T13:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rickzullo.com\/?p=4138"},"modified":"2022-01-09T22:42:45","modified_gmt":"2022-01-09T21:42:45","slug":"valentines-myths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/valentines-myths\/","title":{"rendered":"Gods, Saints, and Other Valentines Myths"},"content":{"rendered":"

Valentines myths are as rampant in Italy as anywhere else. So our cheeky group of expats (COS\u00cc) has chosen the timely topic of romance, relationships, and all things \u201cdell\u2019amore<\/em>\u201d in honor of San Valentino, whose festa<\/em> we celebrate this month.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve written about this a few times before, so initially I wasn\u2019t that jazzed to revisit the subject. Then I read a blog post by my friend John Henderson, and my enthusiasm briefly stirred. It was a fleeting, vicarious moment, but it brought me back to those days long ago, when I was trying to make sense of another culture\u2019s courtship rituals while dating an Italian girl<\/a>.<\/p>\n

John, while contemplating a map of Italy that hangs in his apartment, made the following observation: \u201cThe Italian mainland is shaped like a woman\u2019s thigh-high leather stiletto, and the island of Sicily is a man\u2019s testicle.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"Yes, it\u2019s a landscape fraught with peril and confusion. There are no discernible reference points for newly expatriated American, and we quickly learn that the dating protocols in Italy<\/a> are the only thing more confounding than the bureaucracy.<\/p>\n

For starters, we all arrive in Italy firmly believing (and wanting <\/em>to believe) the myth that Italians are extremely passionate and affectionate. \u00a0But that\u2019s just for appearances\u2014for making a bella figura<\/em>. Once you quickly move beyond the loud, effusive, \u201cCiao, amoreeee!!!\u201d the big hug, and the obligatory two-cheek kiss, things cool off in a hurry.<\/p>\n

As a whole, Italians are very closed-off and cautious when forming relationships of any kind. \u00a0If you want to experience real Italian passion, you have to observe the soccer stadium, not the \u201cdating scene.\u201d Read John\u2019s article for a more detailed explanation\u2014I\u2019ll put a link at the end of this post. My blog is strictly PG-13, so I\u2019ll leave the dirty details to him.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s move on to more family-friendly myths and legends\u2026<\/p>\n

Saint Valentines Myths<\/h2>\n

Everyone who lives in Rome is familiar with the famous Ponte Milvio, where young couples go to symbolize their commitment by affixing a small lock to the bridge, and then throwing the key into the Tiber River. From what I\u2019ve heard, the ritual was supposedly invented by the author Federico Moccia, made popular in his 2006 book, \u201cHo voglia di te<\/em>,\u201d (\u201cI Want You\u201d) and the movie that followed.\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never seen the movie or read the book, but I\u2019m wondering if the writer was inspired by none other than Saint Valentine himself. Not much is known about the famous saint except that he was martyred on February 14, 269 A.D. on the northern outskirts of Rome. He was subsequently buried at a cemetery along the Via Flaminia, very near\u00a0(you guessed it) the Milvian Bridge. Coincidence? Probably not, but I guess I\u2019ll have to confirm that with Signor Moccia\u2026<\/p>\n

(Or if any of you out there can fill in the blanks with this story, please leave your comments below!)<\/p>\n

Regarding Saint Valentine\u2019s association with all things romantic, the history is less clear. In fact, there\u2019s only the unconfirmed legend that he disobeyed the orders of Emperor Claudius and performed weddings in secret so that the husbands wouldn\u2019t have to go to war. A more likely explanation, in my opinion, is that the pagan gods were already losing favor in Rome around this time (less than 100 years before Constantine finished the job), and so Christian saints and martyrs were gradually being recruited to the fill their shoes.<\/p>\n

I can just imagine the gossip in the streets of Rome back then. \u201cCupid is SO last millennium! Hey, I bet Valentino could do the job! You know, he was quite the scoundrel before taking his vows of celibacy. Once he had a few drinks in him, even the livestock got nervous.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u2026and Juliet is the sun! (or not)<\/h2>\n

Nowadays, those damn \u201clucchetti<\/em>\u201d are everywhere in Italy, and it sometimes creates some practical problems. In fact, the lamppost on Ponte Milvio was so loaded down with them that it collapsed a few years back. When I was in Verona in October, the area just below Juliet\u2019s balcony was covered with the stupid things. No surprise, the little souvenir shop located right there in the courtyard sells them to sentimental tourists wanting to seize the cheesy photo-op.<\/p>\n

\"castrato\"
Castrato. Photo: Wikipedia<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The whole Romeo and Juliet thing is manufactured, too, of course. Not that it\u2019s a bad marketing scheme, but it\u2019s really a shame that so many tourists go to Verona<\/a> for this reason alone, while the city offers so much more in the way of actual history.<\/p>\n

What other examples are there of mis-attributed Italian sex appeal? Well, there\u2019s the opera. What can we say about a theatrical art form that originally placed castrati<\/em> in the leading roles? These were the rock stars of their era, and yet I doubt that the young girls hung posters of their favorite pseudo-soprano in their bedrooms. Then again, today we have Justin Bieber, so I guess there\u2019s no accounting for taste.<\/p>\n

My Valentine<\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Photo: J.Burgio<\/pre>\n
So you see, all these stories about the passionate, love-obsessed Italians are total non-sense. Juliet was the invention of an Englishman, male opera stars were relieved of their manhood before they ever reached puberty, and Saint Valentine really has nothing to do with love at all. Alas.<\/p>\n
Well, none of that really troubles me too much. I have my own little Valentine. Her name is Demetra\u2014another pagan goddess. And for me, she\u2019s the very embodiment of love.<\/p>\n
COS\u00cc<\/h2>\n
Our group is starting to get a bit more organized, and soon we will be announcing our new Facebook Page, and our plans to overthrow the Italian government. (Not really, we wouldn\u2019t want that job.) But please visit their pages so you can get a more diverse take on \u201cLove, Italian Style.\u201d<\/p>\n
Here they are:<\/p>\n
Surviving in Italy: Seducing Your Partner the Italian Way<\/a><\/p>\n
Girl in Florence: When your love story is best answered, “It’s complicated.”<\/a><\/p>\n
Married to Italy: The search for sex in Italy: 6 Italian slang sayings.<\/a><\/p>\n
Florence Diaries: What it’s like to fall in love with Italy.<\/a><\/p>\n
The Unwilling Expat: Searching for San Valentino<\/a><\/p>\n
Sex, Lies, and Nutella: Be My Valentine;\u00a0\u201cViva l\u2019amore \u2013 abbasso i sedili\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n
An Englishman in Italy:\u00a0How Pecora Nera wooed Mrs Sensible<\/a><\/p>\n
And my personal honorary guest for this week, John Henderson: “Rome\u2019s war of the sexes makes relationships a battlefield<\/a>.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There are many Valentines Myths, none of which have much basis in historical fact. In Italy, the myth of the latin lover is a myth, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[179,42],"tags":[328,253,156,15,327,326,325],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4138"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4138\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}