{"id":2990,"date":"2014-05-23T09:17:22","date_gmt":"2014-05-23T07:17:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rickzullo.com\/?p=2990"},"modified":"2022-01-09T22:39:11","modified_gmt":"2022-01-09T21:39:11","slug":"italian-girls-dating-american-men","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/italian-girls-dating-american-men\/","title":{"rendered":"Italian Girls Dating American Men"},"content":{"rendered":"

So here I am again, struggling to find my place among a group of female expat bloggers, all of whom are 20 years younger than me and ten-times better writers.\u00a0 I must be the unknowing beneficiary of some sort of blogger affirmative action program, because otherwise I\u2019m at a loss to explain my inclusion in this field.\u00a0 Be that as it may, I\u2019m going to keep posting until they kick me out.<\/p>\n

Besides yours truly (the irascible malcontent from Rome), the original roster includes Misty and Georgette from Florence, and Maria from some lost village in Emilia Romagna that I can\u2019t pronounce.\u00a0 And we have two newcomers this time.\u00a0 Let\u2019s meet them all again, shall we, and see what the have to say about Italian girls dating<\/a> American men?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"minitaly\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Maria is a 30-something (something low) American Texpat, living and working in her husband\u2019s tiny hometown in the province of Reggio Emilia. Her blog, Married to Italy, is home to her rants and raves and serves as her therapeutic search for hilarity amongst the chaos. (Read her article here, \u201cBecoming Bold and Italic<\/a>.\u201d)<\/p>\n

\"misty-evans-surviving-italy\"<\/a>M. Elizabeth Evans of \u201cSurviving Italy<\/a>\u201d is an American expat trapped between two worlds with her badass husband, his chest hair, and their poodle. She is a writer and partner of House Of Ossimori. Her award-winning blog Surviving In Italy, aims to honestly portray her life in Italy, the sober times, the drunken times, the yelling, food, family, and on occasion her obsession with the majestic Capybara. She\u2019s also terrible at writing Bios. Someone do it for her next time, okay?<\/p>\n

\"georgette\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Georgette is an American social media strategist, copywriter, blogger and a certifiable \u2018Tuscan Texan\u2019 living and breathing all things Florence. Social inside and out, she lives in the moment and eats way too much pasta. \u00a0She blogs about life in Italy, travel around Europe (and the world).\u00a0 Check out her blog, Girl in Florence<\/a><\/p>\n

\"gina\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Gina is 26 year old California native whose unhealthy love of cheese, wine and gossip has made her a perfect transplant to Italy.\u00a0 She blogs about life in Florence, tour guiding for college students abroad, traveling and her dog Gorgonzola.\u00a0 When she’s not busy writing down all the crazy stuff that happens to her, she’s listening to Snoop Dog and trying to figure out how to open an In-N-Out Burger in Italy.<\/p>\n

\"Rochelle<\/a><\/p>\n

Rochelle Del Borrello is an Australian journalist by trade, something she has thankfully left behind to write, photograph and taste life in Sicily, an experience she shares on her blog Unwilling Expat<\/a>\u00a0Rochelle is currently hating people’s obsession with the Selfie, Geordie Shore and the confusing world of Italian politics and liking Stromae, The Voice Italy, Springtime in Sicily and collaborating with other certifiable Expats in Italy.<\/p>\n

OK, enough introductions, let\u2019s get down to some light-hearted Euro-bashing.<\/p>\n

But wait\u2026<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve had our jollies in the past, taking cheap shots at European culture and its social idiosyncrasies.\u00a0 Now it\u2019s time for a little payback. (Whose idea was this, anyway?)\u00a0 This week we turn over the keyboards to our European partners and let them have a little fun at our expense for a change.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to believe that we\u2019re voluntarily subjecting ourselves to this, but there\u2019s nothing we won\u2019t do for the amusement of our readers, and to fill them in on the proper customs and etiquette in Italy<\/a> as it pertains to the dating scene.<\/p>\n

\"italian
La mia sposa<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My wife Jessica was born in the relatively small town of Messina, Sicily. \u00a0As her family remained in the same place through the years, she had always yearned to travel and learn about different places. \u00a0After time spent in Tuscany and England, she eventually transferred to Rome, where we met at an<\/p>\n

After time spent in Tuscany and England, she eventually transferred to Rome, where we met at an aperitivo on the Isola Tiberina, one hot July night in 2010.\u00a0 I moved in with her two months later, and two years after that we were married. \u00a0These days, she\u2019s a full-time mamma<\/em> to our beautiful little goddess, Demetra.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what it\u2019s like for Italian women dating American men<\/a>, in her words. \u00a0Read what she has to say on the topic, and then click over to the other blogs<\/strong> to read about the opposite perspective. \u00a0And please, if you’re in a cross-cultural relationship, let us know your thoughts, too! \u00a0OK,\u00a0take it away, Jess!<\/p>\n

When people ask me<\/strong><\/em><\/span> to compare life in America to life in Italy, I\u2019ve learned to answer the question diplomatically by saying \u201cWell, you see, no place is perfect; you gain something, you lose something, and in the end it\u2019s not better or worse\u2014it\u2019s just different. \u00a0And it all depends on what your priorities are.\u201d\u00a0 Diplomatic, indeed, this answer is also very true. \u00a0It gives me a good chance to shut up, to keep my opinions to myself, which is precisely my intention, since it seems that opinions upset the very people who asked for them.<\/p>\n

So, the very same applies to Italian girls dating American men versus dating Italians. \u00a0When people ask me, I tend to just say, \u201cI found a great man, who just so happened to be American \u2013 and\u00a0to me this is just a detail.\u201d \u00a0Again, true. But of course there\u2019s more.<\/p>\n

And since I was asked for my opinion, I\u2019ll give it.<\/p>\n

Italian Girls Dating American Men<\/h2>\n

First of all I have to say that Rick is not your typical American \u2013 for whatever that means \u2013 just like I don\u2019t consider\u00a0myself as a typical Italian.<\/p>\n

When an American woman tells me \u201cOh, I\u2019d like to meet a hot Italian man who [insert here stereotypical adjectives that people associate with the Italian Latin Lover]\u2026\u201d I try to suppress a hearty chuckle. \u00a0I believe that most American women would be extremely disappointed and quickly become frustrated with men who expect them to cook for them, iron their shirts, and don\u2019t leave their mother\u2019s home until they marry \u2013 if they ever do.<\/p>\n

Same when an Italian man says to me that he dreams about meeting a sexy blond American bombshell. He\u2019ll likely be puzzled when dealing with the hottie who wears reveling clothes with impunity, goes out for drinks on girls-only nights as much as she likes, and expects equal support about her career (read: she\u2019s not going to wash more dishes than him).<\/p>\n

Of course, these are some of the most superficial aspects. There are smaller, sometimes more meaningful things that represent a challenge for a couple from different cultural backgrounds. It truly takes an open mind and a profound respect of diversity to work these things out and, even better, to let them enrich your everyday life.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s see a few examples.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The understatement<\/strong>. Coming from a culture that has its roots in Greek tragedy (I\u2019m Sicilian), I still can\u2019t get over my husband\u2019s imperturbable calm in every situation. Of course he thinks that I overreact most times. He still asks me, four years later, \u201cwhy are you yelling?\u201d when I think that I\u2019m just talking normally. Now, the interesting thing is that when I\u2019m back in Italy, I pass for the quiet one. \u00a0So I bring to his attention the decibels level that most people in Italy reach when they talk \u2018normally\u2019 and there he has to concede that I\u2019m actually not that loud. Until the following time. Same applies to gestures.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The outspokenness<\/strong>. You\u2019ve been taught that saying certain things under certain circumstances to certain people is or it’s not appropriate. You might be surprised to find out that different things have been taught to me as more or less appropriate. I suppose that when dealing with a very different culture, let\u2019s say, a German and a Japanese, both parties would be very self-aware about possible social faux pax (Do I say \u201cHi?\u201d Do I high five? Do I bend? How much? 25 degrees?)\u00a0 But western civilizations tend to presume that they are similar, after all. So at first it never occurred to me to think that I would have had to deal with boundaries so different than mine. Rick, on his side, didn’t see much boundaries. For example, he ignored everything about the \u201cfriendly vaffanculo\u201d (a most endearing way to use a swear word) and in fact he dedicated a full post about it.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Food<\/strong>. \u00a0Now, understand. I am Italian. Let that sink. Italian. I sit down for meals. I prepare meals. I use tablecloths (and they are not checkered). I respect recipes. If I made a lasagna, I just don’t want to see you eating it in front of a football match on TV. And I want a little family time at the table. Now that we have an adorable little baby girl, I find myself repeating to Rick \u201cNo entertainment during meals!\u201d \u00a0I want my baby to learn that. \u00a0When I’m invited for meals at Rick’s family or friends, with few exceptions, I just can never figure what’s going on. \u00a0Four years later. \u00a0Are we over for lunch or dinner? \u00a0What meal happens at 5pm? \u00a0If we’re about to eat, why is everybody standing? \u00a0Why are the kids still running around? \u00a0I can’t wrap my mind around it. \u00a0I just gave it up.<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Honesty<\/strong>. \u00a0Now, seriously. The best part about dating an American, for me, it was the honest and straight forward way to relate, approach, and date. I understand this might not apply to all Americans (hey, I told you I was lucky to meet Rick), but at an overall glance I think I have consistently seen a decent level of sincerity in the American dating panorama.<\/p>\n

In Italy – and again, this does not apply to ev\"wedding\"erybody – I had grown tired of all the seductive scenes and the Cirano poems and the drama. \u00a0And I had grown tired of a game where girls should pretend to be disinterested even when they’re interested so as not to be judged, and men should pretend they\u2019re serious when they’re not, just to have a chance to gain favor (among other goals). \u00a0Rick and I might not speak the same language, but we always did understand each other when it came about our intentions.<\/p>\n

In Italy, divorced men are a little snubbed, because the system makes the process of ending a marriage so miserable, long, aggravating, and financially burdening (and if you’re thinking \u201cin America, too\u201d just multiply that by \u201cn\u201d) that the majority of divorced people just won’t give it another try. \u00a0Ever. They just remain too bitter and scarred. I didn’t need to ask to see that Rick had that optimism about life and that faith in love that one needs to put himself out there again.<\/p>\n

All of that said, it should be obvious that being married to an American turned out great, because I married a great man, that is.\u00a0 If you’re dating someone from another culture, I would always say \u201cKeep your mind open, and when you think it\u2019s open, open it some more,\u201d You’ll be rewarded.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So here I am again, struggling to find my place among a group of female expat bloggers, all of whom are 20 years younger than me and ten-times better writers.\u00a0 I must be the unknowing beneficiary of some sort of blogger affirmative action program, because otherwise I\u2019m at a loss to explain my inclusion in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5814,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[179],"tags":[201,253,156,52,15,232,352,322],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2990"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2990\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5814"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rickzullo.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}