​Off the Beaten Path in Italy

For those of us who like to get off the beaten path in Italy, the experience is never quite what you expect. Sometimes for the worse, more often for the better, but occasionally it can be downright terrifying. It’s all fine and good to be the curious type of traveler, but you’d better be prepared to face the potential perils… train strikes, unannounced museum closings, and attacking skeletons. Wait... what?!?

I really wish I could tell this story in the first person, but actually it belongs to my friend Marco. Back a few years ago in Rome, he was a fellow English teacher from Australia, and we had a lot in common. For one thing, we both like to find the little-known sight-seeing gems in this city—the ones that don’t often make it onto the standard tourist itinerary. One Monday afternoon over lunch, he asked me, “Have you been to Santa Maria dell’Orazione e Morte?”

“No. I’ve never even heard of it. Where is it?”

“It’s on Via Giulia, not far from Piazza Farnese. Anyway, I was there last Friday evening and the strangest thing happened…”

I stopped eating and gave him full attention. Something about his expression told me that this was going to be interesting.

“So this little church—not much to it, really—has one of those chapels decorated with the old bones of their own priests and monks, kind of like the more famous Cappuccino Crypt on Via Veneto, but smaller. This one is not always open to the public, but the old rector was kind enough—or perhaps senile enough—to let me in for a quick look.”

I had no idea where this was going, but he certainly had my captive audience.

He continued, “I’m taking my time, trying to read some of the inscriptions, when all of a sudden the door slams. A second later I hear the bolt turn and the lock set.”

“What the…?”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. But before I had a chance to react, the lights go off and it’s completely dark. I mean pitch black—I literally can’t see my own hand. Then I quickly realize that it’s Friday afternoon, and I’m contemplating the possibility of spending the entire weekend trapped in total darkness, and wondering if there​ will be enough oxygen to last until Monday.”

“Holy s#*%!!”

“So it’s me and about a hundred dead guys locked into this little sepulcher. I began feeling around the walls, trying to make my way towards the door without tripping over anything. About halfway around, I clutched onto a lever or something, thinking it might be a door handle. Only it wasn’t... "

"It was a crusty 400 year-old femur. I started to panic, and the next thing I know I’m wrestling with skulls and vertebrae, knocking over pedestals, and the whole nightmare is becoming comical, like a bad horror flick. If I hadn’t been so freaked out I’d have been laughing my arse off, mate.”

Which is exactly what I was doing at this point in his storytelling—laughing my arse off. But luckily, there’s a happy ending. After about 10 minutes of terror, my friend was rescued when the old, senile rector had at last realized his mistake and opened the door to find Marco holding one of his dearly departed brothers in a full nelson. Apologies all around.

​Off the Beaten Path in Italy

​Despite the omnipresent threats ​from dead monks​, speeding Vespas and Silvio Berlusconi, I never get tired of playing the tourist in Rome. ​ However, no matter how much you think you know about Rome or Italy, there’s always so much more that you don’t know. It’s humbling, to say the least. Sometimes even scary as Hell, as my friend Marco would attest to. (Marco, if you’re reading this from Australia, “Cheers, mate!”)

And Rome is just one city in a country overpopulated by UNESCO World Heritage Sites. No other country in the world has more. So in an effort to further expand my knowledge of this incredibly rich and endlessly complex landscape, I’m hosting a tour ​next fall to explore the many treasures of the ​Amalfi Coast.

The trip starts in Rome, of course, where we will rediscover all the highlights of this ​Eternal City. (We will skip Santa Maria dell’Orazione e Morte, however.) But even while in Rome, there will also be time for relaxation and self-discovery before we take off for the tranquil beauty of the Amalfi Coast.

And you won't ​have to worry about getting locked in a sepulcher​—or transportation strikes, or unexpected museum closings, or "tourist trap" restaurants. I will take care of all the arrangements so that you can merely relax, enjoy your vacation, and live like an Italian for 8 or 9 days. 

Click here or on the banner below.

​I look forward to meeting you in Rome. Ciao!