December 8

60 comments

The Perils of Being Italian

By Rick

December 8, 2012


As much as I would have liked to politely ignore the obvious incongruity, I simply couldn't let it pass. “May I ask why you’re wearing a scarf wrapped around your neck…in Miami…in July…in the middle of the afternoon?”

My Italian friend, just off the plane on her Florida vacation, seemed unfazed by the question and answered me in a very matter-of-fact way. “I was hit by the air yesterday.” The perplexed look on my face must have betrayed my confusion, so she persisted, “Un colpo d’aria,” as if it was the most obvious thing.  “Come si dice in inglese?”

italian ailments

I had no idea what the hell she was talking about or how to translate it into English. My Italian was (and still is) bad, but this wasn’t really a linguistic issue. The fact is, we don’t have a word for it in English because it’s an “illness” that doesn’t exist in our culture.

This incident happened about four years ago, but it sparked an odd sort of obsession for me—it has become my mission to unravel and attempt to explain all of the bizarre Italian ailments that are endemic to the citizens of the Bel Paese.

I’ll give you another example: the fanatical avoidance of bathing for at least four hours after eating. In this case, language differences clouds the issue even further. In Italian, you don’t really say “nuotare,” to indicate that you’re going swimming, you say “fare un bagno.” Which is the same phrase used to say, “take a bath,” as in the bathtub. When someone once told me that he couldn’t take a bath because he had just eaten “only” two hours ago, I assumed that he meant that he didn’t want to swim in the ocean.

This almost made sense, because he could (in theory) get a stomach cramp and drown. A long shot, yes, but I used to hear my own grandmother dispense this same advice when I was a child. However, he was literally talking about taking a BATH…in the BATHTUB, for God’s sake! Where precisely does the danger lurk, I ask you? What’s even more incredible is that this perceived risk is further extrapolated to include the shower. Oh, the perils of eating before showering, my friends!

Speaking of eating, I’ve also discovered a national anxiety over one’s digestion. The typical conversation goes something like this:

“How was your dinner last night?”

“Very good, and I had no problems digesting it.”

Well, that’s interesting, but probably more information than I needed. By the way, how are you urinating these days? And are you perspiring without discomfort? Is your swallowing satisfactory, as well? Great, glad to hear it.

​Some restaurants, particularly pizzerias, have a habit of advertising their product as “Alta Digeribilità,” highly digestible, as if this quality above all is required of a pizza. Now don’t get me wrong, I too would prefer to digest my pizza sooner or later. But I can think of at least a dozen different adjectives that I would seek out before being swayed by the digestibility quotient or whatever. How about delicious, authentic, natural, fresh, “goes well with beer?” These seem logical, no?

Highly Digestible!

In fact, let’s move the discussion to beer, wine, and other alcoholic beverages. One afternoon, I was at an enoteca relishing an incredible glass of Super Tuscan when an Italian friend of mine walked in. After greeting him, I offered to buy him a glass of the sublime nectar that I was presently enjoying. His response was, “No, thank you, I haven’t eaten much today.”

“Yeah, so? What’s the problem?”

He scoffed, “Well, I never drink wine without food.”

wine in italy

​“Wine is sunlight, held together by water.”  ~Galileo Galilei

Now, to the Anglo-American way of thinking, this makes absolutely no sense. Drinking on an empty stomach is, in fact, the very best type of drinking. The alcohol goes straight to your brain, unimpeded by the aforementioned digestion of food.

However in Italy, alcohol goes with things and drinking simply to get drunk is not an acceptable form of recreation, it seems.

But I disagreed and I told my friend as much. “You’re kidding me. Besides, I see lots of drunken people in Rome.”

“Yes, but look at them more closely,” he replied, “they’re all English expats or German tourists. Or American college students. Not Italians.”

He had a point, I admit. Indeed, when it comes to eating and drinking, I’ve begun to see the light. I don’t claim to understand all of these subtle nuances, but I’ve learned to accept on faith anything that an Italian tells me about food and wine.

​Italian Ailments

I often discuss these observations with some of my English-speaking colleagues at work.  It has been a source of a few good jokes among us.  Then one day last year, an Australian co-worker of mine called in sick—he had to go see a doctor because of a dreadfully sore neck.  He had no idea how it happened, but needed to seek immediate treatment.

After careful examination, the doctor gave his professional diagnosis: un colpo d’aria. Yes, twelve years of medical training and the doctor’s prescription was to wear a scarf and stay out of drafts. Then again, my colleague has been living in Italy for quite a while now—maybe being Italian is contagious.

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About the author

Living in the Caput Mundi and trying to decipher Italian culture for the English speaking world.

  • You wrote this article few years ago and maybe you perfectly understand our bizzarre things now.
    That thing of “fare un bagno” two or more hours after you eat sounds a little bit silly also to me. I go swimming whenever I need to (too hot, many ‘bagni’).
    Wine is a “culture” for us. For example American, British or German people drink to get drunk, but it’s not the same for us. We drink to have fun and some Italians are not used to drink alcohols including wine.
    Good pizza is light, but if you can’t do it pizza could become like a stone in your stomach. Italians are used to eat light food compared to Europeans or Americans.
    About “how was your dinner”… well, I think that your friend didn’t understand the sense of the question 😀

    • OH, you are right! As you say, I wrote this a few years ago, and now I think that I’m more “Italian” than some Italians in this respect!

  • I guess it’s the same when an italian comes to the US and sees a three layer box with MTWTFSS on it,filled with at least five kinds of pills for each day and wonders WHAT THE HECK!???Or why is it most americans have heartburn and have to take prilosec?and why is everyone allergic and has to take allergy pills and nasal spray? Or why do they drink everything diet and then have a meal that could feed three?
    Really…. I think this is strange too but then again TUTTO IL MONDO E’ PAESE..
    Ciao…

  • Rick, just so you know, I laughed all the way through this post! It’s because it’s so true…I couldn’t believe how “wrapped” up in clothes the people in Roma were the end of April! I read a lot of stories of people who have moved to live in Italy, so this post was particularly funny!

    Ciao,

  • “How was your dinner last night?”
    “Very good, and I had no problems digesting it.”
    ……By the way, how are you urinating these days? And are you perspiring without discomfort? Is your swallowing satisfactory, as well? Great, glad to hear it.

    Superb! Had a good laugh reading this article!
    Funny enough – in Peru there is also a disease called “un colpo d’aria” – or “te dio el aire” – small world don’t you think?!

    • Ha, ha, very funny! It’s a global conspiracy. Or maybe it’s Americans that need to get in touch with their own health.
      By the way, I digested my dinner last night very well. 😉 Grazie ancora, Maria!

  • Hey thanks so much for letting me know that I am not the only one who wonders about these things. I am laughing my head off reading these posts. It took me forever to understand that pretty much anything that could be wrong with you here is probably due to the air such as wind or especially the dreaded AIR CONDITIONER!

    Now I am not discounting this theory entirely as traditional cultures follow this way of thinking so it is not just an italian thing. I do think that italians are in many ways more tuned into what is going on inside of their bodies.

    In Traditional Chinese Medicine, there are two acupuncture/pressure points on the back of your neck that are called “Wind Pool” and this is where the damp cold attacks the meridian where you are susceptible to invasion. *Think about when you start to feel sick, usually you feel it there first.) While I get this, every illness is certainly not a result of the air or change in temperature. I mean, didn’t the Romans promote the baths and steam and cold etc. for at least about 2000 years??? This is actually a way to boost your immune system but I am just putting in my two cents, I am not trying to change any minds here! :o)

    • Oh yes, never was a more dangerous apparatus invented than the air conditioner!
      But you bring up a good point–civilizations that have been around for a while have acquired certain types of intuitive knowledge that can’t really be explained in a logical or scientific way. I view this information as one more piece to be absorbed into the larger body of knowledge. And in fact I enjoy a nice steam bath from time to time, too! 🙂
      Thanks for your two cents Kimberly! Ciao!

    • Of course not, Edoardo. I don’t think anybody believes that “stereotypes” apply to 100% of any population. But the perception wouldn’t be true if there wasn’t at least some truth to it. In any case, I only use humor as way to understand one another, and never in a mean-spirited way. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, then we have no sense of humor at all.
      Thanks for your comments…buon anno!

  • Wow. Its amazing how well l relate to every ailment. Born in the UK, I was raised in London but to Italian parents so was totally immersed in Italian culture. To this day I insist on allowing time to digest food and I am convinced I dont feel too well if I rush a meal. And when at the beach, I never let my kids “fare il bagno” for at least an hour after they’ve eaten. My English wife doesnt quite get it!

    • Ha, ha…thanks for confirming the data for me, Paolo! Yes, my wife is Italian, so I also don’t quite “get it.” Well, that’s what makes things interesting, sharing our cultural differences. Happy New Year!

  • Really great observations, Rick. Neighbors of mine in Sicily dropped by one torrid evening in August when I had a small fan going in the kitchen. They got a look of horror on their faces and backed out fast, crying–troppo aria!

  • Very funny! I did not realized that in English “digestion” is related to what happens in one’ toilet. In Italy “ho digerito bene” means that you slept well, without having a fireball jumping into your stomach, and that the the food was good. I remember a quite embarassing japanese lesson, when my teacher asked me.-You are at restaurant with friends. What do you say if you go to the toilet?- and I started saying something like “scusate un attimo” or ” scusate, torno subito”, but she insisted until I said: -Sensei (teacher) a polite Italian person will never say “I go to the toilet!”.
    Also, another embarassing question was: What do you do when you are drunk? I answered that I am never drunk, so she asked.-What does your husband do when he is drunk? Oh God! I tried to explain her that this is not a conversation theme during a language class!(for my generation, I am 51 years old Italian teacher)

    • Lorenza, I wish I could have been “a fly on the wall” during that conversation! Ha, ha! Yes, beyond the language, there’s always the underlying cultural context. I always try to be sensitive to this, but I know that I still make the occasional “bad figure” in any case. Great story, thanks for sharing!

  • My neighbor wanted to learn how to make US pastry for pie, so I gave her a translated recipe which, of course, included a few spoonfuls of ice water. “I can’t do that, I don’t have ice,” said she. “Well, make some,” I suggested. “I threw away the ice cube trays when the refrigerator was installed because ice is dangerous and I have to protect my family.”
    I pointed out that more than 3 million Americans routinely swallow icy everything, but she just told me that we are evolved differently. So in the few years that ice has been possible, we have transformed the human body. Good work, Americans!

    • Ha, ha! Evolution in the age of technology! But you bring up a good point–American tourists are always puzzled as to why the waiter refuses to put ice in their drinks. Most think it’s because they are being cheap or skimpy with the ice, but the truth that they (believe that they) are looking out for the health of their customers. Great comment, Judith!

  • Tha’s amazing, Rick! bravissimo! Ho riso da morire con il ” colpo d’aria”! As far as ”digestion” goes, why is it that we are indeed that worried about it? I’ve been living abroad for 20 years at date and i still pay attention to what they serve to me and how difficult it may be to digest it or not! By the way, I will do my best to translate the colpo d’aria myself, and if it relieves you, I’ll let you know as soon as I know. Cheers, Maria.

  • Fyi: The colors on your “colpo d’aria” are backwards. The Italian flag is green, white and red, based on the French flag which is blue, white and red. The Hungarian flag is red, white and green.

  • I speak 4 languages and what it cracks me up is when we (expats) try to translate expressions. Italian and Spanish are pretty similar so we tend to use the same words, most of the time it works but if an Italian say: ” mi piace prendere per il culo” the Spaniard would make a weird face. I live in Paris now and I have many stories very amusing to the same extent. But when I was living in UK it happened the most shameful one. When I arrived there my English was close to zero but I could communicate, as a true Italian, using the hands and smiling when I did not understand. At the end of each day my British colleagues were always saying “see you later”. I found it weird that each day all the colleagues were gathering somewhere after work. But I thought that a pint a the pub could be common. Nobody though was telling me where were taking place this after work meetings and I was too shy to ask. It went on for a while but it become unbearable at some point. I questioned my social status, was I avoided? they didn’t like me? or what?. why????? So I took the courage and asked where this F****** meetings were taking place. Well after the response I was even more ashamed. That was in 2003, apparently it still a good joke around the office.

    keep going with this posts, they are very amusing.
    There is a list of roman proverbs translated in English word by word. It is just too funny
    Ciao
    Gianluca

    • Gianluca, that’s a really funny story! I can only imagine your embarrassment. I once made a mistake similar to the Italian to Spaniard one that you mentioned: I told someone “non prendermi NEL culo,” instead of “PER il culo.” Not exactly a small error, is it? ha, ha!

  • Wonderful, really enjoyed this piece – made me chuckle because all of the cultural points you hit are, indeed, true.

    • Thanks, Melissa. I think it’s important to be able to laugh at ourselves. Believe me, there are plenty of times that my “Americanisms” have been the target of ridicule here in Rome (90% of the time in a funny way), so I appreciate being on both sides of that joke. Ciao!

  • Nationality is contagious. I am a poor second generation son of Italy stuck in Texas for the past 30 years. (Not too much in the minority). And the good news is I was just awarded my MBA by several close friends (Mexican By Association). I am proud of both my original and acquired national backgrounds. Please pass the ziti tacos, I need a sip of Los Indos beer chased with a fine Chianti. It is so great to be a citizen of the world!

    • Bill, I love your comment! It’s so true these days that many of us (most of in the US) are a mix a cultural influences. And a citizen of the world, you can pick and choose what you like from all of them. Cheers!

  • The “colpo d’aria” and “cervicale” are still a mystery to me after 12 years in Rome. poor fragile creatures are more susceptible i suppose.

    It also seems that the amount of clothing Italians wear is determined by the time of year rather than the actual temperature. The famous “Cambio di Stagione” in May and October when they swap the winter and summer wardrobes, irrespective of the fact that it might actually be 25C+ in early may or late October.

    I notice it most when I take my kids to the park and see the Italian kids sweating away in polar fleeces and jackets while mine are still in t-shirts. Luckily this is one battle I seem to have won with my Italian wife.

    Ciao
    Stu

    • Well said, Stu. It never ceases to mystify me.

      And I’m impressed that you won that battle with your Italian wife. However, I’ve decided that it is to my advantage to concede all food related issues…ha, ha!

      Thanks again for your comments and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season! Rick

    • Dear Stuart I’m an Italian still wondering why my Italian wife is making her “cambio di stagione” twice a year. Please let me know how you did manage to win your battle! And Rick: congratulations! This is a wonderful blog not only for British or American expats, but for Italians too!

  • >we do not have a specific word to translate “hangover”

    Claudia I suppose it is because “mi sento di m***a” in these case, is sufficient to explain our status.

    Great book Rick, it is very funny to read also for a italian

    • Thanks, Davide! And it seems that your phrase is more descriptive than ours, although the implication is the same…ha, ha! Maybe we’ve come up with the word “hangover” to sort of disguise the fact that we do, indeed, “sentirsi di m***a” in those cases! Grazie!

  • This was an amazing article. I have laughed so hard. I am French and thought only the French did that. At home my mom has caught the current of the air and she has a crisis of the liver…………
    Thanks again

    • Really? Well, so then there’s either something terribly dangerous about the wind in Europe or else it’s us Americans who need to learn a thing or two about staying out of drafts…ha, ha! Thanks for your comment, Valerie…and thanks for making ME laugh, too! Cheers!

  • Hi,
    when I moved to UK it took me a while to understand that when people say they are “slightly annoyed”, “rather unhappy” or ” a bit upset” they meant they were really p***ed off, since all of the above are, when literally translated, quite bland expressions in italian. The best part was when we italians were greeted by a “how do you do?” and started pouring out every time the story of our lifes, it took a while to get the hint LOL.
    On the other side we do not have a specific word to translate “hangover”, we need to use a full sentence to describe the status you are in the morning after you got drunk. I found it a brilliant word!!! It is really like hanging over a precipice LOL.

    • Good point! In the case of us Anglo-Americans, it became necessary to invent a simple word to describe a condition that is so common in our culture. Hangover” sums it up nicely, don’t you think? ha, ha!
      Grazie for the comment, Claudia!

  • Couldn’t stop laughing Rick…..!!!! How about “cervicale” …..???? That’s a favourite in Rome…..something to do with the humidity level apparently…..every time I feel a headache coming on……due more to the fact that I have just been out driving among all the mad roman drivers or trying unsuccessfully to find a parking space……my Italian friends insist that I have the “cervicale”……..lol

    • Oh, I forgot about that one, Carla! But you could be right that it has as much to do with the traffic as the humidity! Thanks for reminding me again how “lucky” I am not be aware of these things! ha, ha!

    • i am an italian American living in italy for almost three years now. When i first came here, i noticed many things that Rick did and made fun of them. however, living in the damp cold foggy north in the Padana, i have learned the benefits of covering my neck with the scarf to avoid sore throats and bronchitis.

      Carla–please do not laugh at a true cervicale, it is horrible, it literally put me to my knees. it effects your neck, shoulders and head. Thinking is hard noise even the tv or radio bothers you. One is dizzy it is just horrible. (although chiropractic would help) Olio 31 saved my life and plastic things that created space between big toe and second toe. serious

      Rick Carla one thing I learned in my travels, there are pros and cons to living standards, Italy is behind in technology, services, etc., but one thing I must say all the health things they do here, tisane aerosoles riflexology iridology not showering with food in stomach must have true values that have been lost and perhaps we need to take note and try them. middle eastern children are taught in school never to bathe with food in stomach.

  • Germans always complain of disrupted circulation and back aches. And while there is the sense that cold air and cold drinks can cause sickness, the worst possible thing is stale air. Which implies no matter the time of the year, the windows get opened for a few minutes every few hours. Subzero winter outside, yup, open windows. And then they ask me how you avoid getting sick with all the AC around in the US.

    Thankfully it is perfectly acceptable to just go have a beer by itself.

    • Hey buddy! Thanks for stopping by–in fact, I just went to your blog–wow, you’re WAY ahead of me on the learning curve. You’re site looks great, congratulations. As far as the foreign ailments, it sounds like we both have our challenges to overcome. But yes, as you say, nothing that a beer can’t fix! Cheers!

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